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Most of us know the voice: The one that tightens the chest as we get dressed in the morning. The one that whispers 'don’t embarrass yourself' during a meeting. The one that slams us with every insult under the sun. We tend to think of the Inner Critic as an enemy. A bully. A saboteur. Something to silence, override, or conquer. But in IFS, the Inner Critic is never the villain. It’s the overworked guardian who hasn’t taken a day off in decades. And it is so, so tired. What th

There’s a particular kind of sadness that doesn’t get spoken about very often. It shows up when you come back to something you once did with ease. Back to strength training. Back to movement. Back after illness, burnout, injury, babies, grief, stress, or simply life. (I'll keep using movement as an example for the rest of this blog - but I also think the same principles occur across many areas of our life) It’s the grief of realising that your body, your capacity, or your ene

One of the questions I get asked most often is: “So… what actually is  IFS?” It’s a fair question.IFS (Internal Family Systems) can sound complex or clinical at first, but at its heart it’s a very simple - and very human - way of understanding ourselves. Rather than seeing us as one single, consistent “personality”, IFS starts from the idea that we’re made up of many different parts  - and that all of them are trying, in their own way, to help us survive. We’re all made of p

Most of us grew up learning one story about our internal world: “Push through.” “Get over it.” “Don’t make a fuss.” “Stop overthinking.” “Be strong.” But the body has always had a different story - quieter, older, wiser. And honestly? Most of us were never taught how to listen. When “I’m fine” isn’t fine There’s a moment I see all the time in my Somatic IFS work:someone describes a behaviour they feel ashamed of - procrastination, people-pleasing, zoning out, shutting down, s

There’s a particular kind of frustration that creeps in when we know  what we “should” be doing - resting more, working out, setting boundaries, speaking up, slowing down - and yet somehow… we don’t. At this time of year especially, overwhelm can be high; the pressures of the season, the changing weather and light, past experiences of this time of year, and before we know it, on a random Tuesday afternoon, we find ourselves snapping at someone we love, doom-scrolling instead

There’s a strange irony in how modern “self-development” so often separates us from the very things that make us whole. We buy the books. We listen to the podcasts. We keep the journals. We do the morning routines. We try to breathe differently, think differently, eat differently. We call it doing the work. But sometimes, what we’re really doing is trying to hold ourselves together - alone. That also means we blame ourselves when it doesn't work - our lack of motivation and w

How many times have you thought to yourself, “I’m just not motivated,”  or “I should be doing more” ? It might be about exercise. Or...

(And how to stop feeling like you’re in a constant tug-of-war with yourself) Ever had one of those days where you feel like you’re being...

You might have ditched calorie counting years ago. Maybe you no longer label foods “good” and “bad.” You’ve sworn off fad diets and...

Here's a deeply ingrained belief that many of us share: that willpower alone is the key to achieving our fitness and wellness goals. You...

I'm being asked this question more and more lately - what are somatic practices, are they helpful, and what do I think of them? Should we...

A lot of us feel anxious a lot of the time. Some might even say all time - it can certainly feel that way. But you are not your anxiety....

The word 'healing' is thrown all round certain parts of the internet these days. And, thankfully, more of us are aware and are looking...

Moving our body is called a 'bottoms up' approach to change i.e. we start with the body, and it changes the way we feel....

Our minds and our bodies are not separate. The maxim - 'I think therefore I am'? Not true. You are not a lump just carrying your brain...

In today's fast-paced world filled with instant gratification and quick fixes, it's easy to neglect the profound impact our food choices...

Trauma is not something that just 'exists in our mind' - it's not separate from our body or our health. (One clear example of this is...

Last week, we looked at what healing is and is not (in IFS therapy). You can check it out here. But what might all of this actually feel...

The word 'healing' is bandied around a lot in the health and wellness space. In the therapy modality I am trained in (internal family...

Bypassing Vs resourcing The same action can have very different impacts on you. So we're talking here about bypassing and resourcing in...