Listening to Resistance: What It Might Really Be Telling You

How many times have you thought to yourself, “I’m just not motivated,” or “I should be doing more”?

It might be about exercise. Or food. Or work. Or even the “self-care” you’re supposed to be doing.

Especially now the 'back to school' energy might be wearing off for many of us.

We live in a culture that prizes constant productivity and achievement - do more, be more, keep going. So when resistance shows up, it often feels like failure. We might read it as a sign to stop what we are doing.

Maybe that is the case, but what if it’s not? What if there's more to it and there's actually wisdom in that resistance?

Are you really "unmotivated" - or is your body asking for space?

Sometimes what we call “lack of motivation” is really our body asking for integration. You’ve already done a lot - maybe more than you realise. And like muscles after a workout, your mind and nervous system need time to absorb and repair before they’re ready for the next push.

That dip in energy, that pull to slow down - it’s not proof you’re failing. It might be your system keeping you safe and steady.

Are you not doing enough - or is the world around you addicted to overdoing?

So many of us measure our worth in output. Did you tick enough boxes? Do enough steps? Achieve enough?

The problem is, “enough” keeps moving. When the culture around you never stops, slowing down can feel like falling behind.

But sometimes what looks like “not enough” is actually exactly what you need. A walk instead of a run. A quiet night in instead of squeezing one more thing into your diary. Saying no instead of saying yes.

In IFS, resistance has a voice worth hearing

Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a different perspective. Resistance isn’t laziness or sabotage - it’s a part of you trying to protect you. Protecting you from burnout. Protecting you from repeating old patterns. Protecting you from being overwhelmed.

Our nervous system holds what we’ve been through - stress, trauma, overwhelm - and it learns ways of keeping us safe. Sometimes that looks like distraction, overworking, numbing out, or even freezing when we try to move forward. Maybe your coping habits aren’t weaknesses, but strategies that once helped you survive.

When we stop fighting resistance and instead listen to it, something shifts. These parts often have wisdom to share, and once they feel heard, they soften. And that creates something enitrely different - it doesn't make things louder, harder or more difficult.

Actually by cultivating self-compassion in this way, it creates space to move forward - not from force or pressure, but from choice.

Making space to listen

So the next time you catch yourself thinking you’re unmotivated, lazy, or “not enough,” try pausing. Ask yourself: What might this part of me be protecting me from? What would it need in order to let me move forward with more ease?

This is the heart of my 1:1 IFS sessions: slowing down enough to hear the wisdom underneath the “stuckness.” So often, the thing we call “resistance” is just an unspoken need waiting for a kinder kind of attention.

If you’d like to explore that, I offer gentle, collaborative sessions where we meet whatever parts of you are showing up - whether they look like procrastination, self-criticism, exhaustion, or the endless urge to do more. You don’t have to do it alone. Sessions are a space where all your parts - even, and especially, the resistant ones - are welcome. A space to get curious instead of critical. A space to rediscover choice and freedom in how you move through your days.

If this feels like something you’d like support with, I’d love to work with you. I’m offering 1:1 IFS sessions, and you can find out more here.