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How to become more confident

Updated: Aug 31, 2021

Some top tips to help you become more confident, not just in your health and fitness, but in all areas of your life!

I was not a confident child at school, and yet a reply I had from one of my school teacher's years later was that I had a 'quiet confidence'. Academically perhaps, but socially, I was excruciatingly, painfully under-confident and embarrassed by myself. At times I still am! I think we all are; the vulnerability of being human, wanting to belong and live up to society's standards sometimes hangs a little heavy on all of us.

We can so easily sit in the story of ‘I am not confident’ without exploring how to become more so. I guess it starts with knowing that confidence can be cultivated. Confidence is not fixed. You don't have to live in the story of 'I am shy' etc unless you would like to.To gain confidence myself, it was certainly a case of 'living my way to the answer'. And this is how I suggest one way you can go about it.

How to gain confidence:

Start keeping the promises you make to yourself. Start small e.g. by making the bed.

You will fail.

You will try again.

You will do it better the second time round.

And then you’ll fail again. And again. And again.

Have faith that you can figure it out. You always have options.

Some top tips for confidence:

- All of this leads into the competence-confidence loop. The better you get at something, the more confident you feel. But you only gain competence by DOING and repeating. Thinking about it for years is not the equivalent of trying to do something for years!

- Be your own biggest cheerleader. Be the cheesy positive voice inside your head. STOP BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF. That is not ok. Life is hard enough without you dragging yourself down too. Try speaking some simple words of encouragement to yourself, words you’ll believe. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

- Surround yourself with a ‘diet’ of positive messages, inspiration, learning and support. Listen to podcasts and read books that spark some enthusiasm, kindness and positivity. Whatever lights you up! Become excited again! It's pretty hard to feel uplifted if you're surrounding yourself with negative messages and getting stuck in a hole of unnecessary comparisons.

- Choose it. You will never find confidence from an external source of validation. Confidence comes from within; you get to own and step into that story. And no matter where you start with your confidence, you owning it is one of the most powerful things you can do. It's not something to be transformed or conquered overnight, but it is something you can make quiet, practically unnoticeable steps in every day.

Ever heard the quote 'courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow.'? (Mary Anne Radmacher).

I think confidence is a lot like that.

I also think there's a difference between outward confidence; with which I think a lot of people associate. It's an outward show of bravado, ego and a little 'faking it until you make it'. My guess is a lot of that is put on to hide some inner pain and insecurities.

Instead, I'm interested in you cultivating a deep sense of confidence that says 'I am ok with who I am; imperfectly wonderful. In every sense, no matter what I do, don't do or what gets done to me, I am enough.'

You are enough.

Go out there, and be confident.

Breathe confidence.

You can figure it out.

I believe in you.


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