Think about your best life. Close your eyes for me right now. Take a deep breath.
And what images come to you? What pictures fill your mind? Does it involve a nice car, good job, wife/husband/children? Maybe some nice holidays?
And if some of those things are coming up for you, then I get you! When I was twenty something, then all I wanted was to fall in love, to get married, to buy a house and to have children. And actually, when I was 27, I was walking down the aisle, in the dress, saying the words - it was a lovely, tiny ceremony in the Lake District. I found it incredibly emotional, because in that moment I was fulfilling everything that I thought 18-year-old me wanted. I thought that that was completing me.
And it's not that there's anything wrong with having those goals or those ambitions, or wanting those things for your life. But you know what, the next day, the deep fundamentals hadn't changed. Those things that I thought I wanted and that I thought were going to complete me, didn't have that effect I was thinking. I couldn't look myself in the mirror and say with intention and meaning and depth and honesty, that I am confident, I am fulfilled, that I am present in my life, that I have a deep, kind, forgiving love for myself. And actually, those things that I was striving after, were like sticking plasters, 'ah if I fall in love and someone else values me, then I will value myself.' Nah ah.
And so, we can see this on a small scale and a large one. We see this in society so much, people are so stressed, living a life, a rat race. We see disconnection of mind and body, where the two are fighting each other. We see disconnection between people and other people. We see some of the worst mental health that we perhaps have ever seen.
After I'd achieved these things that I thought I wanted to achieve, it was kind of like climbing a hill. And there was satisfaction in doing that, but at the top of the hill, a panoramic view unfolded. My life began when I achieved everything that I thought I wanted. The possibilities, the opportunities, sprang out of this box that I'd put myself in. Why limit myself to just those goals and ambitions?
Who doesn't want to feel confident, fulfilled, present, and a deep love? And I believe those things come from coaching something called 'deep health'. 5 aspects that make up your well being. They look different for each individual person.
Number 1 - Physical
Your body needs to be cared for. You can't expect to thrive if your body is under stress. It needs training, movement, exercise. It needs good nutrition and fuel to build itself out of. It needs rest and relaxation. It needs a connection to intuition.
Number 2 - Mental
Having a feeling, a general feeling that pervades your life of I am satisfied, I am calm, I am peaceful, I am peaceful, I am fulfilled. I am able to think clearly, make decisions and problem solve.
Number 3 - Emotional
How many of us can truly say that we know how to process a full spectrum of emotions? How many of us fall in numbing things? Through TV, video games, mobile phones, drinking, drugs. Again, any of those things in themselves aren't bad, but if we're using them to mask feeling and emotion, repressing it, we're doing damage to ourselves.
Number 4 - Environmental
Does your environment support your health? Does it provide you with a peaceful, calm environment? Does it provide you with the support for the habits you want to build? If you've got a TV here and a phone here, every single evening, then that environment is not necessarily supporting your mental health.
Number 5 - Relational
Can you have a deep authentic connection to other human beings? Can you show up and not be worried that they are going to judge you? Can you show up and not be afraid to show your true self?
Number 6 - Existential
Do you have a meaning and a purpose for life? Take that away and people are lost, depressed. Give them a purpose, a service, and life blossoms again.
So here's my challenge for you, out of those five areas - physical, mental, emotional, environmental, relational, existential - where are you doing great at? Where could you do better? Remember, these are all interconnected. So one feeds into the other. You look after your physical body and you mind feels better. You look after your environment and it's easier to look after your body.
And this is where my missions affects YOU.
Because my coaching cares for you. For every single messy part. For the bits that you can't do, for the bits that you feel rubbish at. For when you have a jumbled head and a heavy heart. It's not about putting you in boxes. It's not about the fitness plan, the nutrition, the yoga, the rest and recovery. It's about integrating those things into a much wider holistic viewpoint. Coaching that builds identity, skills, habits and mindset. And that's where true success and true fulfilment lies.
Here's my challenge for you today. Take it away with you, drop your thoughts in the comments, I'd love to know how you have reflected on this, what's been useful and you're going to implement and change in your life this week! Challenge number 1 - what do you really want? Is it the nice car? Or is that just going to make you want the next thing? Challenge number 2 - And how do you get there? Do you know the process to employ to get to whatever that goal is? It might be saving, to get to the car. Or, if your goal is, I want to feel confident, do you know how to implement those changes?