We have to break the habit of using shame to create change - in ourselves and others.
That's not how it works.
Shame constricts.
Contracts.
Disconnects.
Hurts.
It's not my job to make people feel shit for their behaviours. And yet, that is how we are taught. As children, by society, in the courses we take, in the language we use, the comparisons we make, the goals we're told to aim for. It's often how we run our schools, businesses, families, systems...
If you look at the health and fitness industry alone, shame is RAMPANT. We see it in the 'shoulds and shouldn'ts', the 'transformation' photos (which give me the ICK so bad), the 'move more and eat less', generic one-size-fits-all in advice... (and I could go on and on and on). Because the industry is run on the concept of 'experts', dispensing 'knowledge' and 'advice'.
And you know what that does?
Takes power away from you.
Erodes trust in yourself.
And I also get it. I get why we use shame. We use shame to verbalise the pain we've experienced, in the hope others will understand and change and not have to experience it too. Right?
Yet what we really do when we use shame is create further disconnect, walls are built, trust is eroded.
And I refuse to participate anymore in spreading the shame.
Once I saw it - I cannot unsee it.
That's why I start ground up. Relationship to food first. Relationship to body first.
Because when we heal the shame that's there, with curiosity and kindness and deep, deep love; when we fill ourselves with that compassion first, then of course we treat ourselves differently.
We choose different behaviours, foods, ways to talk to and nourish ourselves, to create relationships, and to connect and receive love.
So, you see, it's not just about what we eat, the weight we 'need' to lose, the body we tell ourselves we hate...
You can't grow seeds of self-love, from seeds of self-hate.
It's about coming to live in, rather than, disconnected from our body, breath and the world.
It's about transformation inside, that can't help but leak out to the outside.
That, to me, is the reason why I do the work I do.
The change I want to be.
The change I want to see.
If you're ready for a different approach to your physical, mental, and emotional health, then I just might be your gal. I have a couple of spots left open for this year (or you could kick of 2024 in style, and put your name down to start in January).
If we might be a good fit, I'll contact you for a free 30 minute discovery call.
Time to create change from the inside out - free from shame?
Then fill in my 1:1 coaching application here.
(I see you, finger hovering! Do it! You have nothing to lose by getting in touch and having a chat with me).